things I'm afraid to tell you

This week, I dig to find...


A few days ago I came across this article, which inspired me to delve into my spiritual innards and bring to the surface some truths... pretty or ugly as they may be. It was in part an exercise in self-exploration and in part a way of opening up to you, because I want this blog to be real and honest. So here we go:

The good stuff:
  • I'm a Gemini. Which means I'm very complex and multi-dimensional. I am many people. Apparently. Actually, I'm unsure as to whether this is good or bad.

  • I'm a vata type. A little bit of pitta but mainly vata. Which means I hate the cold, I'm naturally anxious, I find it incredibly difficult to still my mind, I'm enthusiastic, and find it very hard to make decisions. It means I should eat mainly warm foods and go to bed at 10pm. Curious to know your dosha? You can do the dosha questionnaire here if you like.

  • I hate all Worlds: Dreamworld, Water World, Sea World, Movie World. This  means I can't go on holidays with my brother and his family.

  • I love cows. I just do. Moo.

  • My heart cries for all animals raised in factory farms. That we are capable of treating living creatures like this, makes me physically ill. I can only hope that one day we will all look at factory farming as we now look at many of the atrocities of the past - with shame and disbelief.

  • I love Audrey Hepburn. I think she's one of the most beautiful women ever.

  • I also think my mum is one of the most beautiful women ever. She won't pose for a photo these days (she pulls a face), so this is a pic of her in her early 30s:


  • I love kissing my dog on that soft little space between his eyes and snout.

  • I really do do the things I say I do in this blog. I don't just say them. E.g., I really do make my own skin toner, get around with no makeup on, eat only whole foods, have no ipad, etc.

  • I believe what happened on Easter Island is what is happening in our world, now.

The fairly crappy stuff:
  • I'm afraid of growing old. A fear of growing old AND frail, more to the point. The thought of losing friends, losing family - an inevitability of growing older - terrifies me. Most people don't like the thought of growing older, I realise this, but I'm talking about a deep-seeded, shakes-me-to-the-core fear. I don't know why.

  • About six years ago, I got very close to having an eating disorder. I lost a lot of weight. I'm about 170cm and I got to the point of weighing myself twice a day to ensure I wasn't teetering above 50kg. Thankfully I met a man so great that it forced me to pull myself together. It still scares me that I got this close.

  • My husband (the man so great) was hit by a car 2 years ago, whilst cycling home from work. He was 100 metres from our house. As a result of the head trauma (having landed on his head on the road), he developed a chronic pain condition which means he's constantly got a headache. Constantly. All day every day. Has since the accident. It's affected both our lives in more ways than I could have imagined.

  • I love clothes. I love love love clothes. Which means I have to fight demons not to buy buy buy clothes. I often lose the battle. This is despite my awareness of the ethical and environmental issues associated with fashion.

The 'just plain weird/I don't know if it's good or bad' stuff:
  • I mime the Happy Birthday song at birthday parties. I don't want to make people cry.

  • I need to be close to the beach to feel OK. I don't need to see it, I just need to know it's there.

  • I hate shaking peoples' hands. Eek.

  • I love Aussie films. There. I said it.

  • I also love anything French. If I could be French, I would.

Feel like sharing some idiosyncrasies yourself?...


5 comments:

  1. I <3 this ... thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I too love Audrey Hepburn and I have a sister who is her twin .
    I talk to my goats like people(because they are)
    I hate the taste of lemonade.
    I love our farm because we dont' factory farm .....we farm with love .

    Annd, there are things I am not ready to share yet online but I thought you were very brave to do so....and it is funny, you must be really good already at portraying who you are in your blog , because my sense of you are hasn't changed in the slightest.
    Oh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I talk to my goats like people (because they are)"... I love this Kim!

      Delete
  3. Your husband might be able to heal his chronic pain. Louise Hay has a book, "You Can Heal Your Life." A lot of it can be previewed for free on Amazon dot com. I hope you find something that helps.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Andrea, will look into that book.

      Delete

 

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